A little bit of french…..

A night out in France via Italian Restaurant

Let me introduce you to Bobby.  I met Bobby in my last days on match.com before cancelling my subscription.  In his profile picture, he had a heavy sweater on and a “beret” type hat if you will.  (See below)

Apparently…..Bobby hasn’t taken his hat off since that picture was taken.

Bobby was very clever in his attempts to get me to go out with him.  He sent funny emails and texts.  Anyone who knows me knows that making me laugh pretty much outweighs anything else and usually wins you at least a shot J

Unfortunately, the first time I was scheduled to meet Bobby, I fell ill and had to cancel.  The second time I was supposed to have the pleasure of hanging out with him, I hit the iceberg that ruined my wheel.  This along with probably the most awkward phone conversation I’ve ever had should’ve been enough of a sign or clue that it probably wasn’t going to work out for me and Bobby.

Three weeks ago, Bobby asked me if I would be interested in meeting him for dinner on Jan 23rd.  I thought it was odd that he would want to plan a date so far in advance but he assured me it’s because his work schedule is so busy which means he will specifically asking for time off from one of his jobs to make this date so it was better to have as much advance planning as possible.  Ok, fine, sure, I’ll go out with you on Jan 23rd.

In the meantime, as in true Alicialand fashion, a plethora of unexpected things began to happen, including meeting someone that I actually (for the first time in probably 2 years) had a dating interest in. *sigh*….now I have to break my third attempt at a date with Bobby.  It’s not that initial thought that bothered me.  It was the fact that it was just borderline rude that I had cancelled on him twice and now for a third time.  But ultimately I had never even met him, wouldn’t know him if I passed him in Wal-Mart, and didn’t really care if he never contacted me again.  And in my attempt to get better at dating, since I had found someone I actually liked, it was only fair to all involved to cancel.  So I did.

HOWEVER……..

Bobby claims he never got my message.  So at 6:30 pm , he is in Fayetteville (coming from Ft. Smith) and called to get directions to the restaurant we were supposed to be meeting at.  The same restaurant that I’ve had other dates at where the waiters probably think I’m a huge floozy because every time I’ve been there, it’s been with someone different.  I explain to Bobby that I was a bit confused since I had cancelled earlier that day.  But……because (believe it or not I actually have somewhat of a conscience) I felt so guilty…..I agreed to meet him.  It was just dinner, it would be harmless and then he would be on his way.  Off we go.

I make it to the restaurant (after being stuck in traffic forever – even though I was only travelling a couple of miles) and immediately recognize Bobby.  How you ask?  Because of the hat (thus the initial comment above).  I greet him with a handshake.  He greets me with a single, pink rose.  Some of you may be wiping tears already at the sweetness of such a gesture.  For those of you reading this who know me…..are now going “oh goodness”.  I HATE being presented with flowers in public on a date.  Show up at my door with them, fine.  Send me a bouquet at work, great.  Giving them (or “it” in this case) in public on a first date……no bueno.  People then assume you’re together, and frankly, it’s just lame.

We are seated at the front of the very busy restaurant.  Great, even more attention drawn to us.  At this point, all I’m thinking is “just make it through the dinner, be honest with him, and be polite….it will be over soon”.  Thankfully I pointed out on the phone with him earlier that I would only be doing dinner (he had suggested a walk in the park in this crazy cold weather after dinner – to “get our blood flowing of course”).  So that was my out.

Meanwhile……..my friend Kyra and her fiancé Donald are going to enjoy a date night at Catfish Hole.  It was so crowded that they thought better of it upon arrival and decided to try this new place that Alicia had been suggesting for some time.  They enter the parking lot, noting how close it is to my house and discuss possibly inviting me to join them.  Kyra decides it’s too last minute and I probably already have plans for the evening.  Enter Kyra and Donald into restaurant……….only to find….Alicia….with Bobby.

We immediately make eye contact…….and immediately have to refrain from laughing.  I introduce her to my date.  He seems beyond annoyed.  They move on to be seated…..right on the other side of the wall (with lattice so they can see everything).  Great.  The conversation with Bobby is less than interesting.  He wanted to know all the books I’ve read in the last year.  Really, all of them by name.  He meant it.  He then proceeded to tell me all the ones he read.  Moving on from that conversation, he talks about his career………as an overnight stocker at Wal-Mart, Sunday through Thursday, and a Pizza making specialist, Fridays and Saturdays.  He even made the comment about how obviously he wasn’t as rich as me.  Yeah…..I’m pretty sure out of all the vibes I give off, rich is not one of them.

I then asked to be excused to the restroom.  Once again, he’s annoyed.  I go to the bathroom and IMMEDIATELY text Kyra to please join me.  She comes in laughing so hard she’s about to fall down.  We discuss what on earth are the chances of a crazy encounter such as this………she informs me that her and Donald would forever refer to me as Frenchie……..and then the hostess of the restaurant comes out of the other stall laughing.  She informs us that he waited quite a while for me to show up and described as much of me as he could (based on pictures he had seen on match.com) so that they could correctly seat me when I arrived.  The hostess was more than entertained by our story.

After realizing that being in the bathroom for an odd amount of time might raise suspicion, I rejoined my date.  Our food had arrived.  Earlier in the date he had mentioned that if he would’ve known he would be waiting on me so long, he would’ve asked what I wanted and ordered for me.  Luckily, I had enough brain cells to order my own food and it arrived safely at our table.  I asked what his meal was…..he tells me and offers me a bit…..off his fork.  “No thank you” I say…..he won’t take no for an answer.  I won’t give in.  Awkward moment number 23 of the evening.  Kyra makes eye contact through the lattice……laughter ensues.  Awkward moment 24.

We talk about divorce next.  It’s a common topic since we’ve both experienced.  He expresses how offended he is that I was asking questions about his ex.  Since he was so bothered, I offered to let him pick the next topic.  He does……..death…..”So how are you dealing with your dad’s death”?  Is that really first date material with someone you have never met before at all?  I state that it’s a process; I have good and bad days and never thought I would ever find myself at this place.  He asked if that’s why I joined the “walkathon”…….you mean the Relay for Life that I’ve expressed I passionately love????  The whole time he has a look of COMPLETE uninterest.  Boo!

Finally it’s time to part ways.  Kyra and Donald are also leaving at the same time.  They stop by to say bye.  He goes back to annoyed.  We all leave.  He walks me to my car.  Goes in for a handshake/kiss combo and I meet him with a hug.

He goes on his way, I go to Hastings to meet Kyra at the Hardback Café where we laugh so hard and make so many lame jokes about the events of the evening, that Donald disappear acting like he doesn’t know us.  Yes folks, these are the stories we will torture our grandchildren with.

Published by Fancy Pants

🦄Jubilant 🙌🏻Showered in grace 👑Forgiven 👗Seeker of awesome outfits to sport

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