Why I am single…reason 456

A) I’m positive he has this email saved as a template for all the women he contacts

B) if this isn’t a sign screaming “7freak with a foot Fedish” I don’t know what does

C) out of random boredom, I responded (see correspondence below) just to see how long he would keep up his incredible lameness.

D) I have never been happier in my life and if this is all that’s out there, me and my crooked tooth self will stay single forever. Good grief.

Anyway. For your entertainment the convo is below. See, I have been trying to y’all the crazies I run into 🙂 I have almost made this a sport!!
Hi there! Not sure if this is a mass message you send to all the ladies 🙂 but on the off chance that you’re for real. I’ve tried to answer all your questions below.
What I desire is a young lady with class and style. – got ya covered here. I am both!
Someone who is genuine – i am one of the most genuine people you will ever meet
is sincere, understanding, compassionate, loving, not annoying or demanding; someone who is respectful and has morals and values. Should have honest, good and sincere intentions. – got all this too although sometimes I falter in the demanding department. When I’ve made up my mind that I’m going after something…I want it. Plain and simple!
Also be goal-oriented, ambitious. – got goals, ridiculously ambitious
Age 21-35 preferred – check
She must be:
NONSMOKER (disgusting character flaw) – hate it
NON-DRUG USER – does aspirin count?
NON-DRINKER (some/moderate ok) – I drink socially
NEVER-MARRIED – yeah. Maybe you missed this on my profile. I’m divorced
NO CHILDREN – cant have them
DISEASE-FREE – as far as I know
DEBT-FREE – cant help ya here
Good Hygiene – score
And a nice smile..your teeth are nice and straight. – nope, but they make a really cool pattern when I bite into an apple
Ever wear braces? – always wanted them parents were too poor
Retainers? Nope
Are your teeth white, cream or yellowish? – white, laundry bleach isn’t bad for them right?
How many fillings,- stopped counting at 72
cavities? Silver or white? Only 3, gold caps
Crowns, bridge or denture? – how are these relevant to finding your life partner?
Missing any? Um no, not since my mom and I figured out a way to make fake ones out of paper mâché
Do you have cute/pretty feet? I dont think anyone has “pretty feet”
Long or short toes? Once again, how is this relevant to findin “the one”- but to humor you…short
Are they soft, clean and nice smelling? I suppose i dont sniff them nor would i let anyone else
Clear nails? No i can’t remember the last time i didnt have paint on my toes
Get pedicures? Yep from the same guy who put the gold caps on my teeth
French or painted style? See above
Do you wear leather open strappy heels or sandals? Toe rings? – ok, if you seriously are concerned with this detail, we probably would never be a match. I wear whatever my feet fit into when my cankles don’t take over, then it’s fuzzy house slippers. Don’t worry, the lady at dollar general said they look just like penny loafers
Any questions, feel free to ask.- im so exhausted from answering yours and worrying if I’m even fit to go out in public that I have none for you.

Good luck in your search!

Published by Fancy Pants

🦄Jubilant 🙌🏻Showered in grace 👑Forgiven 👗Seeker of awesome outfits to sport

One thought on “Why I am single…reason 456

  1. And here is his response…
    I liked how you started out but was disappointed how it trailed off.
    So we can inspire one another and I might enlighten you on why my questions make sense to ask and how they figure into the equation. As such, I will address each point to which you objected in hopes it might make sense to you now.

    It appeals to me that you possess all the fine qualities in addition to having met the criteria listed. You did mention having been married. Why did you do so and what caused the split? Do you not believe in forever? How can I be assured you would stay by me and not get bored like so many chics do these days when things do not work their way? What did you learn from the relationship and are you now better able to appreciate someone with my fine qualities?

    As far as kids…no worries, I don’t like them anyhow and not really interested in having any so it is just as well. We should be enough for each other!

    Disease-free — Are you willing to get tested b4 becoming intimate?

    Braces are sexy and would look hot on you with the silver nicely accenting your mouth!

    Dentalwork is relevant. Indicates social class, hygiene practices, character traits such as dependability, reliability, nurturing qualities and perseverence as well as genetics, desire to attract a mate, pride in one’s appearance without being too vain and having a positive self-image.

    With that in mind, also honesty, expressiveness and openness as well as a desire and ability to articulate and share of oneself.

    So details on yours?!?!

    Feet questions mirror teeth ones…also atttractiveness features…cleanliness and attraction…etc. Maybe you need to unlock your intelligent, emotional, spiritual capacities to relate to the beauty of what I am alluding.

    Like

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