The new life….sans dating websites…..

I have always been worried about what my life would look like when I actually dated someone “for real”.  Would I fall into a boring routine and become “unentertaining” to all my friends who depend on my crazy life for their daily dose of entertainment?  How would I justify being “kinda crazy” if I had, by all accounts, a normal relationship?  Well, IT HAS HAPPENED!  I have a “real” boyfriend.  I am committed to one person.  The dating website profiles have been taken down, the Facebook status has been changed, and he has been invited into my church pew (aka CPO – Church Pew Official).  This whole thing came about completely unexpectedly (I’ll save that sappy stuff for another blog) but has completely changed my life in such a short time.  I don’t have all the answers (I firmly believe I’m being taught a lesson in ONE DAY AT A TIME).  I have no idea how it will all work out in the end.  But I’m sure that this person and I were supposed to be together at this time and I’m going to enjoy the heck out of the ride!

So, back to my concern.  Would I become a bore when I started dating?  Well, I’m not sure if I have become a boring person, but I am now surrounded by two sweet people who give me more than enough to share with you.  There is such a sweet new chaos in my life that I never knew I would love and that I certainly never want to lose!  Without further delay, I bring you my latest and greatest discoveries of a formerly single girl.

Quote:  A woman armed with chocolate and a prayer partner needs little else to get through the day.

I’m not sure who said this one, but I like it:  you can’t take authority over your life if you don’t have authority over a sink full of dirty dishes or a messy garage.  Good stuff.

Song:   Atlanta – Ron Pope – his newest stuff.  Love this guy.

Discovery:

First and foremost, I have discovered that the man friend closely resembles Kiefer Sutherland (ok, not “closely” but close enough) in the face (if you tilt your head right and concentrate on his eyes and lips only).  He also informs me that people told him that through school.  Anyone who knows me, knows that this discovery just secured him further placement in my life.  It is in his best interest to learn Jack Bauer quotes and use them when he’s in trouble.

If one boy breaks up with you because you sleep with a ceiling fan on and are the oldest child…never fret….cause the man you meet that was truly made for you won’t care…..he will actually welcome the ceiling fan….cause he knows you’re hot 🙂  And he will be A THOUSAND times better than any jerk who has crushed you in the past.  I’m just wondering where he has been hiding all this time. 🙂  He’s a keeper!

 

When a man declares war on the smoke alarms….that’s probably your number one indicator that you should just not come home

When a man does the running man (or attempts to), and then proceeds to brag about how good the mc hammer is that he’s doing…….that is confirmation enough that you are dating a white man

I have given men entirely too much credit for “thinking” for way too long.  It’s time that all comes to an end. (sorry boys, I held on as long as I could)  When you’re sitting at a track meet, admiring your boyfriend’s profile while he appears to be in deep thought……….don’t set yourself up for disappointment.  He is not in deep thought.  There is nothing deep when he replies to your “what’s on your mind” question with “you see those divebombers babe? (referring to geese flying overhead)…….They just fly over large crowds of people and poop.  If I was a divebomber, that’s what I’d do, just look everywhere for large crowds of people to poop on”.  Yep, true story.  He honestly let his brain cells be used to imagine being a goose, flying over large crowds, pooping.  I’m not sure how NASA missed putting him on the moon really 🙂

I recently experienced the first “guys night out” of dating someone.  Man, it’s been a REALLY LONG TIME since I’ve been in a relationship.  I completely forgot that time stands still when  a man goes out with the guys.  I will automatically add at least an hour to every timeframe given to me in the future.  It should be against the law for a guy to EVER have a problem with girls night out.  I don’t think any court in America has ever heard as much justification and defense as is probably laid out in every “guys night out” explanation when they come home.  Ever.

I had no idea how independent and comfortable with myself and my life I had become……..til I had to start sharing it with someone else.  Bless his very patient and laid back heart is all I can say.

In three weeks of being with a 12 year old girl pretty much all the time, I have learned:

12 is awkward – but their self discovery is interesting to watch

If they have any self confidence at all, no matter how annoying it might be at times, nuture it….cause we all know it’s only going to get harder in their teen years, so they are gonna need all they can get to survive that

No matter how hard you try to fight it, Justin Bieber will actually start to sound “not that bad” to you….and you might catch yourself bobbing your head to one of his songs.  It is also possible that I “might have” googled trying to find the name of the newer song that said 12 year old keeps playing in my car so that I could hear it at work……no judging.

If it’s not on Facebook, it’s not real.  That’s just how their world works.

She is me in 12 year old form:

I have only known her three weeks and she is already reminding me about her birthday (which is in September) and her grand plans for the party.  I can relate.  I notify people at least 90 days out of AliciaPalooza plans every year.

She loves herself.  A lot.  I only wish I would’ve had the same confidence at 12 as I do now.

When she feels comfortable with someone, she is the most random, silly person ever.

She believes with all that she has, in a car, when she is singing and dancing, that she is on the brink of being famous.  It’s like looking in the mirror.

She says things out loud, in a crowd, that probably should be kept to herself.  Are you thinking I’m talking about myself yet? 🙂

She is good for my soul.   I am so lucky that I’m not just dating her dad, but her as well!

Life in General:

In keeping my 2 ½ year old niece recently, I learned that one toddler melt down in a room is a ripple effect.  If there is another toddler within 10 feet, they will melt down too.

Spotify is my friend.  I have a serious music problem of repeating the same song over and over.  I can’t stop.   Please help.

I only thought I was busy.  Come into an active dad and 12 year old daughter’s lives and talk to me about busy.  I’m tired.  I may never get to watch television again.  My DVR might explode it’s so full.  Yet, I wouldn’t trade it…at all…..every single day is spent dying to get off work and back to whatever craziness is going on for the night.

You don’t have to know everything right now.  And when you put your OCD, control freak nature aside for a minute, stop worrying, and just literally do one step at a time, life is way more enjoyable.  However, there is never a situation where you should give up your clothes calendar (yes I have a calendar with my outfits planned for the month).  Ever.  Being more than 2 feet away from your closet and clothes calendar will result in hives…..trust me on this one.

Now I know what my dad meant when he used to tell me that he fell as much, if not more in love with me as he did my mom when he met her.  I get it.  I’m so thankful that he did.

If you’re required to wear a full-bodied spanx for any situation, you should either a) just not go or b) don’t be in a hurry.  All you will do is mess and pull with it the whole time.  Your extremities (in particular your arms) will eventually go numb from where the straps are digging into your body….all the way to your soul.  It also makes for longer bathroom trips.  When you have to take the whole thing off because you just don’t trust the “crochless” factor (or when you didn’t even realize it was that way to begin with), you break a sweat, and spend a lot longer in the bathroom because of said factors……people at your table will only think you have serious digestion problems.

When meeting someone for the first time, it is not a bad idea to do a “run through” of the place you’re meeting if it’s been pre-determined.  You need to know the kind of floors you’re working with.  This is key.  Walking in a place with slick, concrete floors and slippery bottomed high heels will only make you look ridiculous when you’re going down to the floor from slipping.  Trust me on this one.

Loves!

Published by Fancy Pants

🦄Jubilant 🙌🏻Showered in grace 👑Forgiven 👗Seeker of awesome outfits to sport

One thought on “The new life….sans dating websites…..

  1. I love the new Alicia….and I knew this day would come! Just sayin 🙂 whether it lasts for a while or forever…you are a changed woman for the better. Love you to pieces!! And y’all a crazy lil family…a.k.a Gabby! J/J

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