Or at least I don’t think that I am…..most of the time. I mean, physically speaking alone, I’m hard to miss. Add my loud mouth, unique sneeze, and obnoxious laugh to that and there is no way anyone within two miles is not going to notice this girl. That’s my initial thoughts when I wonder if I’m noticeable.
Then there are the three other sides of my thoughts. Yes, thoughts (or Alicia thoughts anyway) can definitely be three dimensional (work with me here, I’m exhausted). One of the biggest lies we can tell ourselves or let the enemy tell us is that nobody notices us. That one lie can do so much damage and cause so much destruction that by the time anyone finds out that it’s happened, it seems as if we are brainwashed beyond believing otherwise. The lie never comes alone either. It never just stops at “nobody notices you” and then considers its job done. It brings other things with it that put you in a “funk” which at the very least leads you to the bottom of a full pint of Chunky Monkey ice cream wondering if even the cashier who checked you out when buying it noticed you.
Side #1 of my thoughts. It’s not that I’m not noticed, it’s just that those who notice me don’t care for me. They are bothered by me. They think I’m too fat. They think I’m too poor. They think I’m annoying. They look for a door to run out of when they see me coming. They notice me alright…..and then they notice the nearest exit to get themselves the furthest away from me.
Side #2 of my thoughts. It must be true that nobody notices me because I’m always the one making the effort in all of my relationships (friends, family, etc). I’m always the one reaching out. I’m always the one organizing any gatherings, etc. If I don’t reach out or organize, nobody calls just to say hi to me or check on me, or invite me anywhere. I wonder how long I could go without calling or talking to certain people in my life before they would contact me, if at all.
Side #3 of my thoughts. Because I’m not being asked to lead great big projects or do things on a big scale, I’m not noticed. Don’t people see what a leader I am and how contagious I can be? I should be spear-heading this project. I should be on the video screen welcoming people to our church; because I’m so well spoken (I was going to be a news anchor!). I should be talking in front of the masses. Because, in case you didn’t notice, I’m really good at it. Right? So, since I’m not being approached with these things, I must not be noticed.
Are you tired from reading all that? Or, do you somewhat relate to maybe one or two sentences? Well, I’m tired from typing it : )!!!! As I read back over it, I’m tired all over again. And yet, I also accept it as a dark truth that I struggle with.
BUT…..THE GOOD NEWS IS….IT’S ALL A LIE……..true story. A complete lie. I am noticed. Even when I don’t know it, I’m noticed.
I am noticed by an amazing creator who sees more for me than I could ever imagine. Truth.
I am noticed in what I say, even when I don’t know it. Truth.
And guess what (warning: hard pill to swallow coming up)……I don’t have to know that I’m noticed. Sometimes that is just how it is supposed to be. THEN, sometimes, I get noticed unexpectedly by unexpected people and that’s pretty cool.
In doing 30 days of thankfulness for the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday, I started a note in my iphone notepad. I posted the pic on instagram with a few tags. I thought it would be a cool way to keep track versus trying to remember to update my status everyday on Facebook (because we all know what an over-poster I am). I get a notification that two people liked my picture and I do not know who they are. When I go to check them out, one is Mike Lowry who has 83 THOUSAND followers and one is a model chick who apparently was a runner up in Miss USA and has over 4,700 followers. So, in the midst of these “larger than life” instagram people, they somehow noticed my picture. Which was just a picture of a notepad, with humble words and my measly attempt at declaring some thankfulness.
So, that occasion was rare, and the chances that I changed lives with that one post today are probably slim (and that’s ok for today). BUT……in a week where I was having a pity party and inviting anyone who would listen…..and feeling unnoticed……that simply wasn’t the case.
Look, if you’re thinking you are ever unnoticed, I’m just going to boldly let you know (and myself at the same time) that it is simply not true. You are simply wrong. Never, ever, for one second think that you are not noticed. The question is…..WHAT ARE YOU BEING NOTICED FOR? And is it something you would be proud to be noticed for?
The “notice” may not come in the form that you like ( I prefer a choir, glitter, and applause)……..but it happens. And, like tonight for me, sometimes it happens unexpectedly. So “you best be prepared” at any moment for it to happen. Cause you never know where it might lead from there.
Just some random Thursday thinking. : )
P.S. follow me on instagram to see the 30 days of Thankfulness (and throw a like or two in there if you “notice” it) : ) instagram: adelmore
Alicia Out Loud 