“The miracle isn’t that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start.”

― John Bingham, No Need for Speed: A Beginner’s Guide to the Joy of Running

Tonight was the first of a series of 10 week classes that help women run….on purpose.  It’s a free clinic sponsored by Women Run Arkansas and they host these clinics throughout the state.  Having seen personal testimony of a dear friend who has literally transformed in front of our eyes, and contributing some of that to this great program, I thought I would give it a try.  I mean, I need to move because apparently, according to trainers (and science I suppose), sitting on the couch doesn’t burn calories.  Honestly, I can’t even tell you why I have wanted to become a runner.  Always have.  I look at other runners and want my body so badly to go in that motion for that amount of time.  Yet, time and time again, I fail miserably.  Even though I have completed a legit half marathon, the mental war inside my head leads me to be a super flake.

BUT….NO MORE….since I am doing the detox, cleaning out the toxic people and restoring myself in 2014, I decided that I WILL conquer this running issue.  I had no idea what to expect when I showed up tonight.  It was almost too overwhelming.  At one point I even wanted to go back to my car and grab my phone so that I could document all that I was taking in!

Here are a few observations for what they’re worth : )

1.  I knew the director and I would get along fantastically when she said “I mean ladies, you HAVE to have a good bra.  You can go to Victoria’s Secret, but the only thing that fits me there is the lotion”……..soul sisters unite!
2. Just because your car thermometer says its 55 degrees outside, doesn’t mean that it’s completely true.  It also doesn’t mean that when it gets dark, and there is still snow on the ground that it won’t get colder.  Lesson learned.
3. I show up and much to my surprise there are TONS of women there.  They announced that over 200 registered.  I would guess that about 75 of those showed up tonight.  Immediate intimidation number one.  Yikes!!  I mean there were old ones, young ones, skinny ones, not so skinny ones, top of line running gear ones, and even a granny sporting a gold chain (no lie).  I have never been shy so I assume that it will take me approximately 4.35 seconds to make friends.  Not so.  I stood there by myself, freezing in my short sleeve shirt, with that sad puppy look on my face telepathically telling the other women’s “i want to be your runner friend”.  No dice.  One lady even went to her car to get me an extra jacket that she had.  I was certain that we were about to be “besties for the resties”……..but nope, false alarm.  She was an intermediate runner and left me in the dust.
4. But, if these ladies who are all shapes and sizes and ages can do it, then by golly so can I!  THANKFULLY as we started our warm up walk, I ended up by two sweet ladies who hung with me for the rest of the class.  I shared with them my detox struggles and then realized……”whoa, what is happening?  Who is this girl?  What are these words coming out of my mouth about health and wellness versus wine and chocolate?”.  I have scheduled a MRI of my brain STAT.
5. I was so nervous about the whole process that I literally wanted to corner my two new friends and make them pinky swear that they would be my friends, show up for the classes, and never leave me.  I refrained from such proclamation but did find a way to work Facebook into the mix and am anxiously awaiting their friend requests.  ALSO, one of them lives in the town I am moving to shortly and offered to walk/run outside of the clinic.  See!!!!!!! It’s fate right?  I mean, I can’t make a relationship with a man/boyfriend work out to save my life….but Jennie and I will be scrapbooking and wearing BFF necklaces before you know it (do they even make those anymore?)!
6. I ran and didn’t even realize it was time to stop running.  AND I COULD STILL BREATHE when it was done.  Hold on to your seats folks, but I even talked while jogging.  This is huge.
7. I should be a spokesperson for the sports bra I have started wearing.  It’s like a spanx for your boobs.  They literally don’t move.  I’m actually afraid that when I go to take it off my boobs might just pop out so fast that I will be injured.  To go from wearing two cheap sports bras in an effort to “keep them contained” to one heavy duty piece of equipment has made this experience completely tolerable.
8. It seems like when women come together with a common struggle or common cause, that we are all just a tiny bit nicer to each other.  Except the one lady with a gazillion dollars worth of veneers, botox and neck lift in her face.  She was just plain judgey Jane.  I held myself back from tripping her.
9. Tomorrow I will ache and probably walk like I’m 93 years old.  But the show must go on.  I have a function to attend where the need to put my best “oh you want all this now that you realize how bad you screwed up but it ain’t gonna happen, but I’m gonna look hot just to dig a little bit” foot forward : )
10. When I survive this clinic and go to the “graduation” 5K event, I will be sporting a cap and gown.  You have no idea what an accomplishment this will be for me!  To run without being chased.  To run a 5K and still be able to breathe.  To soak it up as therapy and an escape from everything else in my life for a few minutes each week.  These are the things that I will cherish in this journey.  You have to start somewhere.  It’s way  past the time that I truly and really focus on a better me.  I have a whole world to conquer and I plan on doing it in a smaller jean size, some red high heels, and a few curls!

Here is survival picture number one of hopefully many to come!  Why I am so comfortable sharing such an awful selfie with the interwebs for anyone to see is beyond my comprehension.  I am hoping that it’s a sign of progress in my “liking me” journey.  Be nice to yourself.  It’s vital. 🙂